Crap.

That’s a nice word for SHIT.

Most of us have have had those “character building” times that everyone says we will be better for afterwards.  Sometimes those times come one after another after another after another until we lay bleeding on the ground looking up pleading with our God as we know him to please work on someone else’s character for a little while.

2017 has been like that for me.  And the last month of it was the the  most glorious “lesson” of all.  It was the perfect storm of several events that left me unable to eat.  Or bathe.  At 63, this past week, I found myself standing in my beloved woods with tears streaming down my face, sure that all that I believed I had done in my life had failed.

Wisdom doesn’t doesn’t come cheap, people.  Be careful what you ask for.  When I was but 32 and the single mother of 3 very dysfunctional children under the age of 10, I cried out to my God at the time for the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job.  I figured I would wake up with it automatically, you know?  HA!  It has been a path of thorns for 31 years.  But yeah, I got the roses too.

I know that I will gain wisdom from this storm, too.  That is the only thing that is taking me through.  One of the few mottos I allow myself is ” Don’t just do something, SIT THERE.”  To me that means, Don’t got shopping. Don’t scream and yell at someone.  Don’t run away.  Don’t have a nervous breakdown.  Don’t call everyone and gossip over it.  Just sit with it.  Hold it.  Cry over it.  Be angry with it.  Write about it.  BE with it.  A Christian writer I like, Barbara Johnson once said, “Remember, the Bible said, it came to PASS.  It didn’t come to STAY.”  That brings me comfort.

So, for the new year of 2018, let things pass.  Get on with it.  Take the wisdom from it and leave the rest.

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