Phrases that Amuse Me


More than happy.  “I’d be more than happy to help.”  Hmm.  I don’t know what “more than happy” looks like, but I can hardly wait to see it!  Does she twirl and giggle?  Does his eyes roll back in his head in rapture?  Wow.

Down the tubes.  “He’ going down the tubes.”  What tubes?!  Where are they?  I don’t want to go down ‘em!  Where do they go to?  Is he alright?  Should we pull him out?

Boy, she got his goat that time!  She did?  I didn’t know he had a goat.  How many does he have?  Where does he keep ‘em?

I’m just killing time until my  next appointment.   Holy S___!  I didn’t know you kill Time!   If you do that, does that mean we won’t get any older?  Does that mean I won’t have to pay my next car payment?

I’m so mad I can’t see straight!  Wow.  So, does that mean you’re seeing crooked?  What does THAT look like?

     I was scared to death!  Man, you look pretty good for a Zombie!  Where’d they bury you – I’ll put flowers on your grave.

      I laughed my ass off!  Really?  Let me see?  Oh, you glued it back on.  Shoot, I wanted to see what you looked like without that big ol’ ass of yours.

     I got a bone to pick with you.  See, I saved it from our fried chicken dinner last night.  No, not the wish bone, it hasn’t got any meat on it.  I got the thigh bone, man.  Lot of meat to pick off.

     Don’t look now, but…  Of course they’re going to look now…!

     She can run circles around the other writers on her team.  Doesn’t she get dizzy?  Don’t THEY get dizzy?  Isn’t it a waste of time for her to do that?

     Time is on my side.  Why is time on YOUR side?  Why isn’t it on MY side?  Who made you the time keeper?

     She’s a force of nature.  OMG!  What force is she?  A tornado?  Flood?  Hurricane?  Fire?  What if I don’t want her force?

     He fell for her – hard!  Oh no!  Did he fall down the stairs?  Off a cliff?  Did he break anything?  Is he alright?  Did she help him up?

Dead as a doornail.  Yep, that’s pretty dead alrighty alrighty.

And my all time favorite:

The door is ajar.  No, the door is a door.  The door is NOT a jar.


Hope you had some good laughs.  It’s good for the Spirit.

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